Getting Into Their Heads

8th September 2016


Destiny Project is full of those ‘ah-ha’ moments where you know more about yourself at a core level, than you’d ever thought possible.  Putting words to your values, identity, and mission is knowing yourself in a brand new way.  God created me how? Is that why I _____?  I do love that ____.  How did I not realize that was so important to me?  But the ‘ah-has’ don’t stop there.  As you leave the retreat and re-enter the real world, everything around you takes on fresh, new meaning.

Why is my closet organized this way?  Oh, because I value efficiency. Ah-ha!  Why do I never make a to-do list?  I highly value freedom and that seems to conflict with the whole list-making process. Ah-ha! Why do I speak so loudly and others seem to listen?  Ah-ha! My identity speaks to the spark of my powerful voice.

Values show their evidence all around you.  As if this weren’t cool enough, you start to experience friends and family in a brand new way.

So here’s where I get painfully honest.  I love my minivan!  I’m not embarrassed to tell anyone about my love for my minivan.  I feel super-cool owning one and tooling around town in it, along with my giant jogging stroller, enough camp chairs to start an impromptu party, back-up clothing, shoes, and snacks for days.  It’s a beautiful thing.  Along with that, comes random trash, melted crayons, old peach pits, and fast-food wrappers…unfortunately (and truthfully), I could go on and on.  All that said, my minivan is my happy place.  Every once and a while, I pull over, dump the trash and start all over again.

My husband, Justin, is mortified by the state of my van 99 percent of the time.  Every time he steps into the van, he cringes at its state and tries to direct us to the nearest car wash or vacuum.  You see, he values sacred spaces, which shows up and he likes all of the spaces around him to be neat and clean, as a way to worship God in a way that shows stewardship.  Meanwhile, I value being so prepared that I can party at the drop of a hat, all while driving to the grocery store or bank.

Before Destiny Project, it might have been a source of major conflict.  Now, we just realize that our values are in conflict, discuss, and move on.

I find myself constantly telling my daughter Caroline to talk with an inside voice, turn  the volume down,  or shove a sock in it.  I  mentioned this to my mother, and she held up a figurative mirror.  She  laughed, “you know that’s you, right?”  Of course it is.  Part of my identity speaks to the spark of my powerful voice.  As a young person, I was just LOUD.  As I went through the work at Destiny Project, I realized that my voice was not just LOUD, but powerful.  God created me this way for a reason and this was a value that has been passed down to my daughter Caroline.

With a heightened awareness of my own values, identity and mission, I am much more keyed in to the same or conflicting values of my family. I have found a way to love them even better, because I have the inside track on how God has created my heart…and in turn, theirs too.


Blog post by Danielle Williams, one of our amazing Destiny Project facilitators, who is also a Life Coach for Moms.  Check out Danielle’s Facebook page right here.

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